Truth be told...

Truth be told, even stay at home Mommas can have bad days (or even weeks).  I've discovered that even when you love what you do, there are days when you feel like doing anything but that, and I must accept that it is human to feel that way.  But, at the same time, I feel guilty when I don't enjoy what I most want to be doing: being a stay at home Mom.

There are days when Dustin comes home from work and excitedly tells me to watch something "new" that Elijah is doing.  And my first thought is: "yeah, yeah, I spend 10 hours a day with him, I've already seen him do that.  Is it possible that I could just smile and share in his excitement of seeing Elijah do something "new"?

There are days when I feel like Dustin doesn't understand the monotony of being a stay at home Mom.  Wake up, feed Elijah, empty dishwasher, change diaper, change child, playtime, naptime, snack time, clean up house....do it all over again tomorrow.  And it gets tiring, lonely and sometimes, dare I say, boring.  Is it possible to find joy in the little things?

There are days (most days) that I feel like a horrible wife.  I put so much energy into taking care of Elijah that by the time Dustin gets home from work, I'm grumpy and short with him.  I pick apart the way he does things and make demands of him, even though he's also exhausted from working all day.  And I know, that isn't the way this should be.  One day, my children will leave the house and my husband will be the one who stays with me for the rest of my life.  I sure want to make him feel like he's excited to spend the rest of his life with me.  Is it possible to let go of my set in stone ways and relax a little?

At the same time, I tell Dustin quite often that I'm SO happy to be a stay at home Mom.  I wouldn't trade it for anything.  I enjoy being able to watch Elijah grow everyday.  I enjoy the fact that if I really need to, I can take a nap during the day when Elijah naps.  I don't dread Mondays because I have to go back to "work".

And so, maybe in those times when I'm having a bad day, I can remember that the good far outweighs the bad and this too shall pass.

"For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have the learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through him who gives me strength"  Philippians 4: 11-13